Saturday, July 29, 2006

so yeah....i got into bedford high school =)!!!!!!!.....laallalalalaa....welll i hvae been going for med check upss and freaking hell they poked me with needles and now it looks like im taking drugss cuz my arms are all blue-black..hahaha.....ive beenn doing lotsa hanging around with my freindss and family..i cant believe im leaving in 3weekss...
wtf!!!im soo scaredd,,me the lil chicken retard!!!....ive had soo much supportt for ppl who tellss me their alwezzz gonna be there for me when i needd them..and its making me alll fuzzyy inside.....cant believe im goin on mee ownsss...i hope i dun cry out a river or even an ocean...fingerss crossedd!!!

when the satan knocks on ur door,just simply say. "jesus,could you get that for me?"

MOvEEE along Move along Move along Move along Move along Move along MMove along......

even when u feel ur hope is gone...MOVE ALONGG RETARD


TEARS of twisted fates =P

Monday, July 10, 2006

hey hey....

so gues what i got the scholarship...shyZA!!..i cant believe i got it its jus schocking cuz it just hit me that il hvae to leave in less than two months!!...i knew in some sort of way that i had a high chance of getting it but then i didnt really wanna accept cuz i didnt wanna face the reality of it...i guess im reallyy scared abt leaving and not knowing whats in store for me..i dun wanna act like an ungrateful brat cuz damn I GOT IT...its what i wanted but i didnt realise how sad i was gonna ffeell...i mean i cant not cry every time i tink abt it..just leaving my family,friends and my baby!!
=(..hrmm hrmm..i ve been trying to spend as much time as i can possibly can with the people that i lovee...i cant believe i wont see my parentss like evryday!! im such a spoiled kid Huh!!...aahah..i cant help itt....and im gonna miss my baby sooo much i mean how can i nott?...hes evrything i want in a guy and no one can evr take his place=)...he makes me smile even when i dun wan him to, he challenges me to step up and be brave, he lets me be myself and love me for that...and i just fall more and more in love with him evry time i spend time with himm...i jjst need to breathe rite noww...i love u al =)

welll.....ive beenn hanging out alot with grace wani brian clare ode them alll....so itss been fun =)..i reallly wish things could stay the same and neve evr changee..here i am agen building castles in the sky!!...i wish i knew all the answers i wish i know exactly what to say and i wish i could promise to never change...but i know i cantt...all i can reallyy do is stay true to myself and do what i really want and believe in the things i want to even if not evryone agreess with me...
lately ive been thinking abt how i want to run my life and whats gonna make me happy i realised that i have to stop living my lifee the way ppl tink i should and just do whatver it is i want cuz at the end of the day my hapiness should be placed first cuz if not whos gonna do that for me..in a way that is selfish but i truly cannot believe that GOD has put me on this earth to feel miserable or sad...so i just have to take charge and im feeling happier now cuz thats what ive been doing lately ..NOT caring abt what other ppl think of mee..and not letting anyone make me feell bad abt what i wan to do!!..its like if someones bitchy to me id just walk away and not have to stick around and suck up all the DRAma just cuz i really cannot handle anymore drama in my lifee...
lalalala....

i miss my veenah-ness cuz she soooo cacat and i love her like many oreo-bitss!!eventho i dun like OREo's..ehhehe...annalene my ana-banaNaa...da girl whoss alwez pisSEEDDdd.....ok this is random il stop now...

Monday, July 03, 2006

have you evr felt like evrywhere you go ppl are constantly judging and critcising evry step you take...ive been kinda feeling overwhelmedd with that feeliing....i really try to ignore it and just not allow it take control over my emotionss but it pisses me OFF soo badd taht i just wanna screamm...i feel sooo jaded and i wish i could make it all go away!!!!! i mean they have no right toking crap or jugding mee they dun even know me that WEeLLL!!!......stop acting like u know who i am and what im about when u wouldn even know where to begin once truly asked!!!..

i try to live day by day as honestly as i possibly can instead of what i tink i should or whats expected..cuz i figure to hell with all of that..ppl will constantly notice you once you fall and make a mistake just like the saying "misery lovess company"!!!!..so i just have to find my own way and try to be happpy...im just trying to live by this phrase " Be the change you wanna see in the world" so JUST leave me beee!!!...life is hard enough without you constantly pointing out my flawSS!!!!

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